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The Initial Motivation

March 17, 2012

The Original Motivation

            Why this time?  Why was I able to succeed and get healthy this time when I have tried so many times before?  First of all, I did not try this time.  I made up my mind that I was going to do it, not try to do it. The next question is “What made me do it?”  What was my original catalyst to change.  Here is the evolution of what happened.

            I was approaching my 25th wedding anniversary.  For months I had been contemplating what we should do to celebrate.  What could I get for Sam?  The question was hard because it is so unusual for us to actually get presents for each other.  We usually pick out something fun for ourselves around our birthdays but it is not something that one of us chooses and buys for the other .  We never discussed this but it just evolved from the beginning of our marriage.  Our relationship is not validated by the gifts we give each other.  Rather giving of ourselves to each other is the gift.  This has always been the feeling we both share.  I grew up watching my dad buy gifts of flowers for my mom “just because” he felt like it.  He never let Hallmark determine when Mom should get flowers or treats.

            Nonetheless, a 25th Anniversary is special and I wanted to think of some appropriate way to mark it.  Every time I thought about it, my mind kept drifting back to the one and only thing I knew Sam would truly want and appreciate.  He would want me to be healthy.  He would want more years together.  It was never about the size for him or the number on the scale.  I have felt each and every day of my marriage that Sam loves me completely.  Even when I did not love me because of the way I looked.  He loved me, no matter how I looked.

            Could I really do it?  Could I give him the one gift that he would cherish above all else?  If I could, I knew that it would be the truest representation of how much I love him, of how blessed I feel to be his wife and of how happy he has made my life.  How could I not do it?  If not now, I knew it would be never and that was a very pessimistic look into the limited years ahead.

            The goal was an anniversary gift for Sam.  The present was a healthy me with good cholesterol and normal blood pressure.  I would reduce the controllable health risks and give us 20 more years together.  Not a bad anniversary present!

  1. Karen Radest permalink

    I loved reading your blog! Mazel tov. You look incredible!

    • Thanks Karen. I’ve been overwhelmed a the positive feedback I have recieved after posting the blog. I’ve learned so much over the last 18 months. I feel amazing and it just keeps getting better.

      How are the kids? Everyone looks great in your Fbook pictures. I still have the image of the kids as being much smaller!

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